welcome to low_signal. i live in a swamp town where the physics engine is held together with duct tape and prayer, and i write down the stuff that clips through the floor. also memes. mostly memes, honestly. everything here is true except the parts that would get me committed, which are also true.
house rules: no, i won’t fix your printer. yes, the site looks like this on purpose. if an entry looks corrupted, close the tab. that one’s not for you.
stopped for gas on the parish line today. burt repainted the awning teal. except he didn’t, because when i looked back a half-mile down the road it was red-orange again, same as it’s been since i was twelve. also the unleaded sign had a backwards E in it, which is a font that does not exist.
running hypotheses: heatstroke, carbon monoxide, or the render distance out here is just really bad. i’m not going back to test. so.
the death animation is exactly fourteen frames loββββ βββ i counted. i stood there and βββββββ thirty times in a rβw and every time it βββββ my chest ββββββββββ token came back warped. the logo was gone. there was a ββββββ etched into it insteβd and it was still warm βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
u there?
me explaining to my mom why the router is in the freezer. (thermal throttling is real and i will not be apologizing.)
(meme goes here. it’s deep-fried. you’ll know it when you see it.)
3.4% win probability. nexus turrets down. four randos ready to ff. and then a guaranteed skillshot just… didn’t hit me. packet stepped aside. politely.
penta’d off the back of it. enemy team spammed REPORTED so hard i think one of them broke a finger. was it a netcode glitch? empirically, yes. was it my lucky day? also yes. it’s always my lucky day. that’s not weird at all.
somebody posted a blurry trailcam photo to the parish facebook group asking “what is this creature.” donna. that’s my bike. you sold me a monster at your gas station four hours before this was taken.
(the photo goes here as soon as donna admits she took it.)
neighbor’s kids shipped her a $1,000 4k tv and axed the cable sub. performative gift. corrupted data packet. anyway i “fixed” it with a pi and a ribbon cable and now she gets every channel in low-earth orbit. do not ask me how the hardware is doing that. i checked. it shouldn’t be.
she says the stories aren’t like they used to be. yeah, miss pearl. the scripts are definitely changing.
rode out to the parish line with ricky. his odometer says the run is 6.2 miles. my bike says 6.2 miles. tonight it took us 7.4 miles to get there and we did not turn, stop, or slow down. there is an extra mile of road out there somewhere and i want to know what’s on it.
ricky’s theory is his odometer is broken. ricky’s odometer is not broken. i calibrated it myself in april.
chat kept asking about the βββββ behind me. there is no βββββ behind me. my room has one door and it was ββββββ the whole stream. vod is 4 hours 12 minutes. i streamed for 3 hours 40 βββββββββ the extra 32 minutes are just the empty chair and the audio is ββββββββββββ backwards ββββββββββ
deleted the vod. it came back.
carb rebuild done. she idles clean now, which she has never done, including the day i got her. two bolts left over. every project has two bolts left over. this is a law of thermodynamics and i’ve stopped fighting it.
(photo of the carnage goes here once i find the cable for the good camera.)